Married

Yes, I'm back. And yes, I'm married. The honeymoon was relaxing and romantic and everything a honeymoon should be, minus about five inches of rain. And along the way, my new wife and I learned a great deal about married life...about the preconceptions, the misconceptions, the struggle, the rewards. Of course, we learned these things by watching five straight hours of NEWLYWEDS, but hey, forewarned is forearmed, isn't it? And now, as we proceed hand-in-hand through our married life faced with such struggles as temptation-filled invitations to the Playboy Mansion and nasty cellphone calls from record executives who think our new single sucks, we'll know EXACTLY what to do.

Oh, yes. I got married in a suit. Rented tuxes are for pimply-faced prom boys; suits are for Men.