Birds

These little brown birds have begun collecting on my windowsill in the mornings, and they like to greet the rising sun with incredibly loud repetitive chirps that manage to pierce the glass and brick and drive directly into my subconscious. As a result, most of my dreams the last couple days have been segueing abruptly from whatever pleasant fantasy I've got going on in my head to swarms of attacking birds. And it's not pleasant. And these things are so damn loud, I can't fall asleep for more than fifteen minutes or so at a time after that initial wake-up call, and any subsequent dreams are just birds.

As a result, I'm really beginning to hate the little suckers.

In retaliation, I figure I've got the following options:

Option 1: I can buy the little kid across the street a .22 with a scope and commission him to pick off the unsuspecting feather bundles as they alight on my windowsill. Drop a couple of the suckers, word would get around right quick, and they'd soon find another place to congregate. Problem is, I don't know how the little kid's mother would react to my arming her son and sending him off on the Dawn Patrol. And even if she was okay with it, I've watched her kid play basketball on his Nerf hoop, and his aim's so bad, he's lucky if he can hit the sidewalk. Giving this kid a rifle and having him fire away at my windows might not be the best of ideas.

Option 2: I get myself a cat, and raise him entirely on the window ledge. Set up a little platform out there he can sleep on, give him a little water in a dish, and let him earn his keep and his dinner by killing and eating whatever comes in his jurisdiction. The ledge is plenty wide enough for a cat to walk on (provided the cat's on the not-to-hefty side), and if he played his cards right, he could get a pretty good daily catch. Granted, life on a window ledge might not be the cushiest of cat existences, but hey, New York's a rough town, and iit could be a lot worse. And I could set up a little awning that would keep most of the rain off.

I'm leaning toward the Option 2, right now, but we'll see how tomorrow morning goes. I get woken up by the feathery bastards one more time, I might have to get drastic.