Crass Commercialism, I Bow to Thee

I KNOW they're just overhyped, overbudgeted commercials. I KNOW their sole aim is to get bloated corporates in the throes of mid-life crisises and yuppies with way too much income for their own good to buy nifty convertibles. I KNOW that.

But, God help me, I love the new BMW shorts.

HOSTAGE was excellent, as expected. Directed by John Woo. A fine performance by the ever dependable, criminally underrated Maury Chaykin. Good stuff. TICKER was a bit more disappointing: I've heard great things about director Joe Carnahan's NARC, and with Don Cheadle riding shotgun, I expected brilliance. A fine film, nevertheless. But BEAT THE DEVIL...now there, THERE was brilliance. Directed by schlock-master Tony Scott, starring Gary Oldman at his scenery-chewing finest as the titular Devil who resembles a combination of a glam-homo Marilyn Manson and Nosferatu, and none other than the Godfather of Soul himself, James "Sex Machine" Brown, so incoherent that he needs subtitles but somehow still managing to convey his dignity. Fan favorite Danny Trejo pops up as the Devil's sidekick, and the too-cool-for-school Clive Owen finally gets to have some fun.

Go. Watch. And just TRY not to enjoy it. I dare you.

Yes, I am a corporate whore.