"...unwrapped from bandages at a press conference, the ungodly Bride twitched grotesquely several times before turning to face her would-be mate. Reporters in attendance said the Bride recoiled upon setting her eyes on Ashcroft's horribly misshapen visage, letting out a blood-curdling scream.
'When the lovestruck Attorney General tried to embrace the Bride, she shunned him, just as the entire world has shunned him,' CNN reporter William Hurlbut said. 'It was truly tragic...'"
